back to work...

J went back to work yesterday. He's only doing a couple of hours a day to get used to doing it again. He was so exhausted when he got home yesterday. I know this is good for his mind and spirit, and I know this will help his strength return as well but it makes me so nervous to have him out of the house, and out 'on his own'.

But, with the return to work means back to business as usual around here, which is also a good thing! Yesterday I finished putting all the Christmas stuff away. My mom helped with all the outside and big stuff the day after Christmas because with the small kids, those things would take me FOREVER to finish by myself. The kids begged to keep the tree up a couple more days so I did (i'm not a scrooge but by the end of Christmas, i'm DONE with the decorations), but finally put that up yesterday. I always feel so relieved to get all the decorations put away, all the 'stuff' really makes me feel flustered.

Speaking of clutter... our kids are SO fortunate and blessed by all our family! But OH MY, there are so many new toys and things all over the place. I need to spend some quality time this week and next going through the toy closet and baskets and getting rid of the old to make way for the new. Normally I would have tried to do this before Christmas but this year just didn't allow for that, and that's okay :)

I also really can't wait to get back to the gym - haven't been since before Jason's surgery, there was just too much stuff going on all the time around here. But I am anxious to get back to the treadmill to work off some of these holiday pounds - ugh. I feel like a red hot mess being cooped up in the house for all this time. I need some exercise, a hair cut and color, and lucky me got a massage and facial from J and the kids for Christmas, so I've got to schedule that ASAP!!

The PreTeen and Miss Priss start school again next week and I am ready!!! Loved being home with the family, but it's time to get back to our routines!

In terms of J's health, he's had all sorts of tests run in the past week and everything is looking good and healthy - THANK THE LORD!!! So aside from just allowing his healing to continue and building back his energy levels, which will take another couple months according to the doctors, he's fine now. We just have to breathe a sigh of relief with this news and praise God for looking over him and our family and helping us through this challenging time.

Looking forward to a safe, happy and healthy New Year!

christmas eve!!

Yay! Mom will be here soon, Sister and family coming later. Breakfast for dinner, Christmas PJ's! Gifts wrapped, about to start snowing outside. Gonna be a great day!

Merry Christmas to everyone! Here's hoping for a happy HEALTHY holiday for everyone!

santa 2009

Here's our beautiful girls with Santa.



Merry Christmas!!

she's crawling!!

So Little Miss has been thinking about crawling for weeks and weeks now but just couldn't 'get it', but she finally started this past weekend! I definitely think the Christmas tree was an incentive, she reaaaaaaaalllllly wanted to get over there..... and now she can..... all the time..... all day long, she's headin' over towards the tree.

She's doing all kinds of stuff all of the sudden .... crawling, she's pulling up to stand up on the exersaucer, ottoman, etc. and she's also holding her bottle (sadly, the nursing came to an end during our week at the hospital and my out of this world stress levels, but she's adjusted great to formula and eats a TON of baby food, plus it makes it much easier for the kids to spend the night(s) with grandparents - woohoo!)

Anyway - she's about to be 9 months!!!! Crazy! She's developed such a sweet little personality, and is just a wonderful baby girl, we are so blessed!

a week away?!?!

Wow, it seems like December is just flying by. I'm having my family over on Christmas Eve and I just looked at the calendar and realized it's a week away! Luckily, we planned to have Breakfast for Dinner (new idea this year - and EASY) and we're doing allll the good stuff, breakfast casseroles, bacon, french toast, etc .... YUM!

I'm NOT a turkey and dressing type of girl so we like to switch up the Christmas Eve menu pretty often since it's so close to Thanksgiving and most of us have had our fill of turkey.

We're also going to be wearing our Christmas pajamas at our Christmas Eve party. Pj's and pancakes - perfect!

The Pre-teen did some gift wrapping for me tonight but once I pulled stuff out of my hiding spots, I realized that I do have a little bit more shopping that I need to do - ack! Hopefully I can get that done asap!

Tomorrow we're taking the girls to see Santa as soon as the Pre-teen is out of school (early release) so I hope that we won't get stuck in any long lines! If all goes well and J is feeling up to it, we might drive around town to let the kids see some Christmas lights - Miss Priss just loves the lights!

Things around here are getting back to normal, J has a little more energy each day and is enjoying this extra time he's getting to be around the girls. We sure do love having him home with us! He thinks he might try to go back to work the week after Christmas, I pray that he'll feel strong(er) and healthy by then.

need.sleep.must.go.to.bed.goodnight!

our house is quiet....ahhh

This morning our house is sooo quiet. J's parents came yesterday and took the two little girls out to their farm for a couple of days. Miss Priss LOVES her Nana and Papa and runs to their car to buckle herself into her carseat so they can leave. Then comes the 'oh yeah, bye mommy!' Little Miss loves that there is a constant stream of arms over there that want to hold her, so her bottom doesn't sit on the ground very often, which is right up her alley! Honestly, I miss them as soon as they drive away, but I do appreciate a little break.

The Pre-Teen had to be at school eaaaaaaarly this morning, but I came back home and got right into bed. I love all my girls, but it is NICE to not have any noses to clean, diapers to change or Dora the Explorer for a couple of days! I think there is a nap in my future - yay!

J is doing better each day. Slow and steady but he's getting there. He's still figuring out that his energy isn't what it used to be and it's going to take a while, which is frustrating to him. He's got bad cabin fever so we try to get out of the house at least once a day, even if it is just for a little drive and some fresh air and sunshine.

Selfishly, I love having him home. I love the conversation and company. The kids love it too. I'm sure Miss Priss probably thinks it's extended vacation or something, she doesn't even ask if he's going to work every day like she used to. Sure, sometimes it's hard to remember that he can't help with picking up a kid or loading them in the car, etc. and by the end of most days I am BEAT. We have been eating so many delicious meals that our friends have been bringing and I am SO THANKFUL for so many reasons, but mainly because I don't know how I'd fit cooking into these days!!

More than anything though, I love having him home all day because I can see him and see that he is okay. If I'm out at the store or somewhere else, I feel I need to get home urgently to see that he is okay and feels well. I just am so aware of how lucky we are that everything turned out the way it did. I definitely cherish every day with him, you just don't realize how quickly things could change until something like this happens.

On another note, we've been getting ready for Christmas. Thank GOD for my mom who helped get the majority of our decorations up in the house. I've done 95% of my shopping (online - thank you amazon.com!) and just finished my Christmas cards - whew! The Pre-Teen and Little Miss both had Christmas programs at school and were so cute! I was wanting to do some Christmas activities for the kids this year, but we might only make it to take a picture with Santa, and drive around to see all the beautiful lights, which will be good enough! We'll make up for it next year though!

I have lots of pictures to upload, but who has the time, sheesh! Okay, i'm off to enjoy my quiet house and day off!

patient recovery..

We've been home about a week now and things are slowly getting into a sort of rhythm. Things are not back to 'normal', nor will they be for a while, but the girls are happy that daddy is back home and we're kind of easing into things. J is still in a lot of pain, but it's getting a little better each day.

I took him to see the Dr. yesterday and she was pleased with his progress but assured him that this was MAJOR SERIOUS stuff that happened to him and that recovery is going to slow and painful. This can be so discouraging for anyone to hear, but especially J who just isn't one to sit around, do nothing, ask for help, have people do stuff for him.... it's an adjustment. My patient isn't usually very 'patient', but he's learning to be since he has no choice, he hurts. My heart hurts for him because I can see how hard and painful it is right now. It's like when your kids are sick and you literally feel sick because you can't make them feel better, that's how I feel.

I try to keep his spirits up as much as possible and the kids are really a great help. Those three girls sure can put a smile on his face! I'm having to be extra cautious with Miss Priss because she does not understand the extent of the 'boo boo' on daddy's belly, so when she's sitting with him or cuddling, i'm on eggshells and ready to swoop in and grab her if I need to. Hard to be cautious but not scare her, it's a fine line.

Mom has been her since the day of J's surgery and she leaves this Saturday. I.AM.NERVOUS! She has been such a huge help with the kids and I am so grateful to her. I know I can handle things, but I'm already beat by the end of the day and she's doing so much of the kid work - eek! Luckily our local parents are coming to help or be on standby, thank God for all of them!

All of this scary stuff has really been such an eye opener in so many ways, some of which I'm sure I'll write about in the future. For now I just thank God for J and for his life, for his improved health and strength, for our girls and for our family.

WE'RE HOME!!

We're finally home!

I didn't update for a couple of days because I was able to get J a private room and so I stayed with him the past two nights. Once I waved our insurance card a little, they moved us pretty quickly and J was able to rest so much better. He slept well because there were half as many nurse interruptions and because I was able to be there with him.

He was able to walk around a little and his belly and insides have started 'working'. It has been painful and uncomfortable for him but little by little, things in there are trying to get back to normal. He was able to eat solids this morning and was so happy to finally have some real food after 6 days. Just a little food has already done so much for his mood and energy level. The doctors were very pleased with his progress this morning and told us we could go home, and we couldn't get out of there fast enough!

He's so comfortable right now (well as much as can be expected), he has had a great long nap in his own bed. He's wearing his comfy pj's, and laying in the big chair watching the Cowboy game. We're home alone for a little while while the girls and my mom have gone to have Thanksgiving with different family members. It has been nice and quiet for several hours and so nice to be able to sleep next to each other again - I missed my husband so much!

Recovery will be slow and will be hard on J, mostly because he does NOT like sitting still and tends to get cabin fever very quickly. Also, it will be difficult on him and the little girls (Miss Priss specifically) because Daddy won't get to play and do normal stuff with her for a little while and she's going to have to be very gentle with him while he heals.

The doctors said that he'll need to just rest at home for about 2 weeks. After that, take it easy, no heavy lifting (more than 10 lbs) for 6 weeks, and he will feel back to 'normal' in about 2 months.

This last week really has been such a whirlwind and seems a little foggy in my head. I'll admit I've just been on auto pilot and and just going going going and doing what needed to be done to make sure he was okay and get him home. I'm coming really close to hitting the wall - now that we're home I can feel myself relaxing and just feeling so exhausted. I'm looking forward to just being home for a while.

I'm so grateful to my mom for coming into town and just taking over watching the kids for me. My sister and inlaws have also been a huge help juggling the kids and keeping my house running (all my laundry is washed and folded - wow!) We both are so genuinely touched and humbled by the love and prayers that have been sent our way - to all of you who have sent us messages, texts, calls, snacks, dinners, books, magazines, etc.... THANK YOU, we could never express to you how much it has meant to us.

This Thanksgiving we are thankful for so much, J, his life, his health, and our beautiful family. Thank you God!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Liz

I'll post occasional updates on his progress, and hopefully we'll be back to normal life around here in no time.

he's gettin' there...

Today was a better day. J was moved out of ICU today and into a regular room. Unfortunately it is not a private room which at this hospital, I was sort of expecting :( Even though he has a roommate (who is suffering from the after affects of appendicitis and has had some moaning/groaning pain), it is still quieter and darker than the ICU and he has been able to get some nice deep sleep/naps during the afternoon and evening and if that continues tonight I know he will feel so much better tomorrow.

He was able to see the Almost Teenager and Miss Priss today. That really lifted his spirits and made him so happy. Although I had tried to prepare her for what J would look like in the hospital, M.P. was a little freaked out when she saw him, she didn't want to get too close at first, but eventually warmed up to him and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek before she left.

I was really unhappy that I had to leave him alone tonight, but since it is a shared room with another male, they wouldn't let me stay. Not to mention the room is small and cramped so there really was no place for me to stay, but I hated to leave him there, especially since now the nurses aren't as readily available as they were in ICU if he needed anything.

That is one thing I will say about the ICU, loud and bright and all, they were EXCELLENT nurses and took great care of him, I was very pleased with everything that they did for him. I just pray pray pray that the new nursing staff can provide him with the same service and care that he needs at this point. Please God, continue to look over them as they care for J.

Also - Jason's bladder and kidney are having some trouble jump starting back to normal working order which has been a huge frustration for him today. This is one thing that the nurses are really urging him to do and have been trying to get him to drink a lot of water so that he can get things flowing. He wasn't able to this evening which upset him but hopefully things will get going maybe tonight and tomorrow. Of all the things I have been praying for, PEE is the big one today, I pray for the PEE to come and give him some relief!

Tomorrow it is my goal to use and flex my insurance card muscle and get us into a private room. I don't mean to sound ugly or snobby, because I am GRATEFUL to this hospital, but I know we are one of very few people with insurance in that place and I want to use it for J to have a private room for some private recovery. Wish me luck.

I need some sleep, long day at the hospital tomorrow.

p.s. J received so many text messages and emails from friends and coworkers that he was finally able to read today and it really made him feel good. Thank you again to everyone who has called, written, and sent us prayers and messages - they have brightened our days.

Liz

fresh on my mind...

I'm home for just a little while and thought i'd journal this while it is fresh in my mind, although nothing in my head is very clear right now.

Friday morning J was about to take a shower and got a terrible stabbing pain in his right lower back, he was doubled over in pain. It subsided a bit and with some tylenol, he went about his day, so did I. I later got a phone call that he was going home but was probably goin to swing by the urgent care and see what the deal was, we both thought that maybe he was having kidney stones. They took xrays, thought it might be stones but suggested he get a CT scan for a clearer view.

The CT scan revealed a 'bloody mass' in his stomach and they sent us immediately to the ER. They did another CT scan that revealed the same and said it appeared to be a leaking or ruptured aneuryism on the artery that leads to his right kidney. They transferred us to a Parkland County Hospital - level 1 trauma center (after the first hospital they tried said there were no available beds for him there). Once again, they ran more tests and throughout the night he was asked, 'how did you hurt yourself, did you fall, did you get hit, did you bump into something, history of stones? kidney issues? other symptoms?' to which his answer was 'no - just this back pain this morning'.

The Vascular specialist team came in reviewed the information and determined that it was an extremely dangerous ruptured aneurisym, also extremely rare especially on someone young and healthy like J, which is why I assume everyone seemed so confused by the situation. Then the plan... they needed to get in there to fix it and that required removal of the kidney. They could not get to the rupture and focus on fixing it and saving his life without removing the kidney and since his other kidney was healthy that was what they were focusing on.

He had the emergency surgery early yesterday morning, it took about 5 hours and they said he did very well, but it was a very serious situation. The aneurisym was about the size of a ping pong ball and had attached to a big vein that should have been the diameter of half a pencil but was bigger than a large hot dog. They took it all out, with the kidney.

The doctor who did his surgery came to talk to us after they finished and told us that this situation is so rare that many Renal doctors only see one or two IF ANY of these cases in their whole careers! Our surgeon just so happened to have trained at a program that specialized in this very rare situation. Amazing that we ended up at this hospital, only after the first one they called turned us down because they had no empty beds, and the doctor that just so happens to be on call (at midnight) has been trained on this very rare case!

I can only be grateful to God for putting us exactly where we needed to be and in the hands of the most capable people because those doctors clearly said that this could have killed J. A pain in his back and no other symptoms and he could have died - I still can't really process it because the whole thing feels like such a bad dream to me, almost like it's not happening, even though I know it is.

Today was a better day, his pain is more under control with his meds. He's been able to sit in a chair for a bit today. ICU is tough on him because it's so loud and bright and there is a lot of activity in there, so he's not really getting any quality rest. Luckily he should get moved to a room in the morning sometime. He will be in the hospital at least 3-5 days.

We have received so many kind prayers, words, encouragement, offers of food, help, babysitting and any kind of help we need. The outpouring of love, friendship and caring from all of our friends and family is so overwhelming and genuinely appreciated more than I could ever put into words. I am humbled.

I am so tired, so i'll sign off now, but will try my best to regularly update.

what i'm obsessed with ... today....

I recently viewed a wedding video clip by this super talented woman, Vanessa McKellar, and clicked around some of her other videos, and found this gorgeous family video . I've watched it at least 10 times and am obsessed with it, it literally gave me goosebumps and made me teary.

This family is doing it annually to chronicle the lives of their children and I just thought to myself, what a wonderful memento to be able to look back at your kids after they've grown up and moved away, or as a grown child to see your family and your parents so young and happy. I almost get teary writing about it. Pictures are great, I love pictures, but this is so much more, and i've never really been a video type of parent, which now makes me sad because I know we've missed a lot of great things.

Anyway, the video session is a bit out of our budget, but i'm going to try my hardest to save my nickels and dimes here and there to hopefully be able to do one of these one day.

hallelu-yer

TV fixed, $200 for a stinking bulb. stupid TV. But we have our TV back, and oh how I am grateful for the 30 minute episodes of Dora that are available any time of day when Miss Priss (or mommy) need a 'break'. Maybe we'll get lucky and this bulb might last us 10 more years, unlikely. I should start saving now.

bad TV juju ...

So J has been oogling new TV sets every time we are in an electronics department - I guess that's a normal man thing. He also gets so upset every time he sees how crazy cheap the tv we own is now compared to when we bought it (right after we got married). So Thursday morning, Miss Priss is watching Dora the Explorer and J mentions that the sound track seems a little off..

me: "no, the TV is broken, we probably need a new one" (totally joking)
J: "TV is fine, I think this channel's sound is off:
me: "I'm just kidding I thought I'd trick you into thinking we should get another TV" funny funny ha ha, right?

Then I grab my keys and drive the Almost Teenager down the road to school, back in the house in less than 5 minutes. When I walk in Miss Priss says 'mommy, the TV is broken..' Yup, between the time I walked out the door and came back, the stinking DLP bulb in our TV burned out (or something) and the TV was not functioning. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! Did I give the TV bad juju?

So, Thursday was a quiet day in our house, and today has been too. J has taken the TV to some place where hopefully (and probably in exchange for lots of our monies) they will fix the stupid thing. This is the 3rd time (in less than 6 yrs) that something $$$$ has happened to this dumb TV. Just sayin', back in the olden times, our parents had TV's for 25 years before something broke or went out on them! I want a TV that lasts THAT long, for as much as we're friggin' paying for it!

Okay, that's my gripe for this day. If it comes back still broken, I may have more gripin' to do.

tired

The baby went to stay the night at nana's yesterday. She was worn out after breakfast. What a rough life she has.

my new favorite thing...

Had a date night with my hunky hubby last night. We went to the Old Monk and had good beer, good food (cheese) and good people watching. For dessert we swung by a place I'd recently read about in D Magazine's Best of Dallas issue. Frozen yogurt has never really been a big deal to me, but I'm in love.... Yogi-licious was sooo good, i'm obsessing about it. I had avocado tart yogurt - sounds so yuck but was suprisingly delicious! Can't wait to go back soon!

52 days..

There are 52 days until Christmas. I've already gotten a few things marked off my shopping list, but I have quite a ways to go. I plan on doing a lot of my shopping online this year because, really, there is no way I will be able to accomplish anything productive out in the stores with the demanding infant and the wayward toddler. No way.

I just love how much you can get done online, makes things sooo easy, and I like getting things done early, but especially like marking things off my list. Hopefully this proactive-ness (is that a real word?) will help me make this holiday fun and super special for the girls and J.

Okay - off to watch Weeds, love it!

trick or treat

Our girls had a great time on Halloween. Lots of candy and lots of fun. Miss Priss is really starting to enjoy the whole thing which made it so much more fun for us. Little Miss could care less, and the Almost Teenager hasn't accepted that she's almost too old for trick or treating!

i want that..

What I'm obsessed with today... I want this

I've made many Pioneer Woman recipes and she never does me wrong. I want this new cookbook bad... santa can you hear me??

tgif

It is a beautiful day today, the rain finally went away and we had such a nice warm sun. It's a perfect Fall day today! The girls and I took a walk around the block and they both loved it, especially looking at everyone's Halloween decorations.

I love how Miss Priss is just thrilled by all the pumpkins and scarecrows and she just LOVES the inflatables in peoples yards. I've never been a huge fan of these, but I love how excited she gets when she sees them - so I may be changing my tune as far as us having one in the future.

Busy weekend lined up, should be fun!

ugh...

So it's raining outside again today ... for about the bazillionth time. I love rainy days, but a bazillion of them? not so much. I woke up with a killer headache and haven't been able to kick it :( Even a totally diet breaking lunch of Chicken Express chicken strips and a diet coke isn't making it any better (in my defense I was starving and it was really the only thing on my way home that didn't have 30 cars in the drive thru line). I need a nap. I hope these girls are in the napping mood this afternoon!

On a happier note, I got to snuggle sweet little Charlie K. today. What a little peanut! Little Miss looked like a giganto baby next to him.

muffin love

Just made the most delicious Pumpkin Spice muffins.... just ate way too many of them...should have stopped at one. Will not fit into my skinny(er) jeans at this rate.

... is this thing on?

I've decided to start another blog. The last one is still around but doesn't have much on it, hasn't been updated in approximately 2 years, and pretty much has been kicked to the curb. If you're ever interested, go here.

So, I'm not sure this blog will be similar to the old one, it might, might not. I'm sure I'll have stories and pics of the family to share - I might use 'code names' instead of real names for everyone. I'm slightly paranoid about info online so doing this might make me feel better about sharing things with the Internet ;) I'm still toying with that idea.

Other topics on here may be just random rambling, things I'm thinking about, interesting things I've found that I want to share (quotes, articles, other blogs, etc), things I like (or dislike) that day. I plan to make this more of an online journal for myself (and whoever decides they want to read my daily thoughts - enjoy!)

So anyway - that's the scoop. Have an awesome day!
Liz :)